Hello Velasquez!

Cafe Perg, originally uploaded by camille94019.

My head is throbbing. My nose is stuppy. My right eyeball feels as though my optic nerve is knotted. I was just uploading a batch of pictures (these are raw scans, the horizontal scratches could be used by future archeologists to authenticate that these were truly processed by the porcupines of Bay Foto) . Looking at this picture makes me perversely happy. I could be falling apart into little pieces and this picture somehow is gluing all the bits back together. I took it at Cafe Perg in Flip. The ray of light falls across the reader's chest. Light vaguely illuminates the wall in the other room. The back of the patron floats on the edge. The scattered paintings on the wall sit like islands on a vertical sea. The two shadowy figures of yours truly and El Cab reflected in the mirror above the fireplace. We are just missing the dwarf, the dogs and all the little meninas. Dwarves are overrated.

What makes me happy is that I didn't plan this at all. Its an accident. Things have been challenging lately, with the new school, the new year, my head cold, the bills and daily crap. I look at this, and I realize things can work out. They can. And the light is beautiful.

I am going to go find myself.

Trunks, originally uploaded by camille94019.

Self? Are you hidden in the trees? Can I find you in the silence? Can I rip myself away from the computer long enough to hear my voice? Or God's voice?

Another drop of Summer

Grass Portrait 3, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I went to work for the first day of school on Weds. Things went well. My partner teacher did most of the talking. She's been teaching for eleven years and knows the drill. I just stood around looking intimidating in my vintage blazer. I don't have to actually do anything until next weds, when I start teaching in ernest. I have a few more days to spend with th Caballero in Bear Town.

Blogging Regret

Sinister Path, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I am unable to edit my postsNot anymore!. I tried logging onto booger and I can't get inNow I am in, let the revising begin!. Maybe its time for a long over-due computer update (its working, why mess with it?). I suddenly have an acute case of blog-regret and wish that I could edit/ delete a couple of entries.

Up until now I have taken for granted the ability to revise and edit this online record. After a lifetime of suffering from speaker's regret (how often I have wished I had just kept my mouth shut)What am I talking about? I always say the right thing, its been wonderful and releasing to be able to dip into the record at any time and change it. Now I can't. I am frustrated. My readers will know what a bad speller/grammarian I am. ha ha, as if they didn't know already

On the other hand, it begs the question of what sort of "record" is it, if I can change it faster than a pair of dirty diapers?

It isn't a record. This is Camille-Propaganda. I am serving myself up for your delectation. Sometimes the honest observations make for a fine meal. Sometimes I am just full of shit, and that is fun, too. But mostly, I am grateful to you, oh reader, for reading this and giving my life meaning.

Jason Van Boom

Platform Sleeper, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I once had a parakeet named Jason Van Boom

I am Reformed

Mano de Caballero, originally uploaded by camille94019.

Usually when I photograph the public I don't ask permission and I sneak around and try to be inconspicuous. (I have gotten in trouble in the past, but I can't find the relevant entry) I tried something new with the Caballero's friend, Rhymes with Zoom yesterday in the City. I am giving myself too much credit. I wouldn't have ever asked, but we had too, since he wanted to have the option of publishing the photographs in his book about the history and culture of baldness. I discovered an amazing thing. About 25% of the people said no, and told us to go away (especially the Italian tourists, I don't think they liked being called "bald"), but the rest of the people we approached said yes. They actually smiled and stood still. It was amazing, having the cooperation of the subjects. I tried taking pictures of the KB this morning and she was resisting me, then I offered he M&Ms (it worked for ET) and she went with it. Then she didn't want to stop. This is a new era for me! Talking to the subjects! Seducing them with chocolate! Ha Ha! The power is mine!

St. Paul

StPaul, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I respect St Paul. Really I do. I don't pretend to know what he looked like. This is kind of painful for me.

This was a fun project to do for Poulet. He needed some last minute illustrations for some correspondence course curriculum he was putting together. I did a little research into old icon painting styles and was a bit overwhelmed with hundreds of ways that artists over the ages have painted the same subject.

I usually have mental conflicts when I am asked to do art for christian-related things. I sit and analyze my motives and I try to "find God" and generally spend a lot of mental effort trying to manufacture spiritual art ecstasy. I generally have a hard time getting excited about this sort of thing. Usually I am afraid getting suckered into producing bad christian propaganda. This time the assignment was so cut and dried that I didn't really have to think about anything more complicated than "how did those Byzantines draw hands?" and "where do you put that damn halo?" I asked myself deep questions like "how would Aubrey Beardsley draw a beard?" I amused myself thinking about how Weird Mike might draw a Tiki St Paul. There is rich tradition of ancient spiritual art just waiting to be reappropriated and plundered.

From the Window

From the Window, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I can see the Bay Bridge, and the buildings of the City. I can hear the busses going down the street, the wind rustling the trees. If I listen closely I can hear the call of the trains and a baby crying in the distance. I have a vague desire to throw the caballero's black guitar out the window, just like the Cake song (if I threw my guitar out the window...). I am not sure he'd miss it, but maybe the neighbors would complain. A fog bang looms threateningly over the skyline. When I was a child, I'd see that perpetual fogbank to the west and assume it was Japan.

Drawering Difficulties

african violets5-2, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I am in the middle of wrestling with the Saints. Bits of them are laid out all over the floor. An arm there, a head here, a bit of robe over there. I am trying to put a few illustrations together for my friend Poulet. I don't have a good image for this entry, because I have no traditional drawings in my archives. I have this fear that my portrait of St Paul will look more like a geisha in middle eastern drag. For years, I did silly nipponisme with the H-ster and Aubrey Bearsdley knock offs in my spare time and I am finding that those styles are somewhat similar, at least in my brain. Now I feel I must purge these worldy influences and find a Holy Line in the wastes of the desert. I am not worthy! I'll post my efforts as soon as I finish them and get within striking distance of a scanner.

Fat Pride

Thighs, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I don't know why this pictures makes me so happy. If you look carefully, you can see where the sand chaffed her inner thigh. I was showing it to H in the staff room at work, and I announced that I was "obsessed with fat people!" One of our thin coworkers, who was also there, started violently when I said that. She looked at me pointedly.
"Have you ever been fat?" I asked her.
"No."
"I have, and its a sensitive topic"
At this point, H laughed nervously, and we dropped the topic.

Why does fat make people uncomfortable? It truly is a sign of being american and affluent (at least from a global perspective). What is wrong with that?

I so GRUMPY

Sun and Shadow, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I grumpy! Cannot think straight! Kids ask DUMB questions! Make me CRAZY. Wish I had a large rubber baton that I could flagelate my forehead with. The large red WELTS would be a RELIEF.

WRACKED with GRUMPY GUILT. People look at me funny and try to CALM me DOWN. DONT WANT TO BE CALM. WANT TO TEMPER TANTRUM. WANT TO SCREAM! Children cower before me! I evil!

FEEL BAD FOR BEING GRUMPY. Don't want to be grumpy. Wants to be nice.

I breathe. In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.

calming thoughts. listening to the inner waves lapping on the inner shore of my ocean of calm.

BIG BLACK clouds come from the east! THUNDER AND LIGHTENING tear the sky into shreds.

the sun comes out and the birds are twittering.

A gale leaps from nowhere and the birds are slammed into the rocks. Ha Ha!

the birds are tough, they get up, dust themselves off and fly into the perfect orange sunset.

(a BIG tidal wave... ok fine.) nevermind.

Thursday Morning Mystery

Vapor Corporation: What is this?, originally uploaded by richardmasoner.

Fritz and I noticed these strange vials in the train this morning. We went back and forth with various possible scenarios. You can click on the image to find out what it is. I think the next submarine should have a set.

Another Micro Minute Entry

Bald Man and baby, originally uploaded by camille94019.

The photo people just posted to rolls of film and this is one of my favorite images. I had a dry spell for quite a while where I didn't have any new ones and it gave me a strange case of writer's block. I had taken for granted what a verbal lubricant they were.

I was at Urban Outfitters with the Tzarina and I noticed this fine bald man walking down the sidewalk, so I got in the window display to shoot this. I don't think he saw me. I want to do this more-- it allows me to get very close, but to somehow stay invisible. I could dress very hip and freeze and pretend to be a manikin.

Saturday afternoon in Golden Gate Park with the Mongolians

parasol, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I dragged the KB to the park on Saturday to celebrate Genghis Kahn's 847th birthday (or was it his 836th?) with three of the Caballero's friends (including J1). We thought it was going to be a wild festivity of throat singing and manly sports. Sadly, it was not what we had hoped. There were sausages, and barbequed lamb ribs (not sure that I am a fan), lots of modern camping tents, canned music (it sounded like John Williams soundtrack) ankle bone tossing (by invitation only, one of our company tried to participate, but an old man took his bones away before he could toss them), and lots of fiery speeches in Mongol. The KB asked for shade after being stuck in the sun for a long time, and we wandered into an oak glade, and we missed the five minutes of throat singing while we were in the tree, listening to our friend reciting the Jabberwocky in German. The tree was the KB's favorite stop.

To console our dashed expectations, we then headed over to the Conservatory of Flowers. I am not sure the KB was up to appreciating the botanical curiousities, but hopefully the groundwork was laid for future botanical intrigue in her brain. I think she did enjoy the dahlias.

Then we drove over to the Pirate Store and Paxton Gate. She wasn't impressed by the pirate store (hey, these gems are fake!) which was very disappointing, because I think it is a cool place, but she loved Paxton Gate (a twisted store with a Victorian Curiousity Cabinet feel-- with beetles under glass, strange skeletal animals dressed in Rococo and the penis bones of various minks and cats). Maybe she appreciated the fact that the weird things were all real.

I am excited that the KB finally is old enough to drag away from home long enough to do some exploring.

the 8:40

Flickr Fan, originally uploaded by richardmasoner.

I saw this guy with bloody fingers surreptitiously taking photographs on the platform. He was surprised that I noticed him. Ha Ha, I have taken pictures of this very same platform (they are getting developed as we speak). I notice these things because I am often guilty of the same thing. You can see my ticket sticking out of my pocket. I am standing in the only warm bit of sun that illuminated the platform. It was so cold.

I am still in love with Public Transportation. I got to nap all the way over the Summit today. What evil driver can possibly make that claim? I think I am going to go swim.

The Three Minute Blog Entry

more blue from Thailand, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I have three minutes before I have to be back in the classroom. I took the train/bus today. Those polar ice caps are refreezing as I write. (wouldn't that be nice?)

Its Weds! I am doing well! The shock of starting two new classes is finally wearing off. I'll be starting a Real Job teaching art at the end of the month. I can feel those future students breathing down my neck already. I am trying not to let myself feel completely inadequate. I can do it! Yes I can!

Oooh, I have one more minute before I have to run. Stress! The Pressure! What am I going to say for the next 30 seconds! Will I have mind-blowing revelations! Will I reveal my secret passwords and account information! Will I make the 3:37 train to Hose? Oh the questions! Oh the suspence! I am going swimming this afternoon with Nori! Life is Good!