327 Market

Police Blotter, Soquel CA

-One AM, Saturday, May 1. Two drunken derelicts were reported by Area Residents at the Blue Balls Park on Old San Jose Road. They were first observed imbibing vast amounts of alcohol and tresspassing in the local cemetary, littering the sacred ground with bottle caps and empties. Then they caroused over to the park, where they slid down the slide (this writer hopes they got their rears very wet). One neighbor complained that she heard them, "discussing etymology REALLY LOUD... its just not right," she opined, "there is a time for that sort of topic, but certainly not outside my window while I am trying to sleep." By the time the police had arrived, the two distubers of the neighborhood had slipped into the darkness. If any one knows about these two criminals, they are encouraged to call their local police immediately.