Saturday, October 21, 2006

Gazetteer Entry: Cafe Perg

cafe perg

Geography Cafe Perg is situated on a street corner in Down Town Flip Flop (aka The Mall). To the west, a Three Hour Parking Lot. To the east, the Holy Temple of Tea, and the rest of the cardinal directions-- various private residences. Sometimes, if the wind is right, you can smell the ocean.

Architecture Modified Flip Flop Victorian. The historic homes that the ancient Victorians bequeathed to us haven't been untouched by succeeding generations of Flip Floppers. We Floppers like to use our buildings, and funkify them, when necessary. The building that houses Cafe Perg used to be a home, then it was a dentist's office and now, its a cafe. For example, the bathroom is lined with zinc, to prevent graffiti, even though the owners kept the original 12 foot ceilings. Its like being in the bottom of a long metal chute.

Pros Not only can you get coffee, but you can get beer! And brownies! Brownies and Beer!

The Sayings of the Pergolesi Fathers

Attend, child. Take yourself forthwith, and find a corner and quietly busy yourself. Soon, the Fathers will forget you are there, and the holy wisdom that they normally hoard to themselves as they fire the espresso machine will pour forth, freely, as from a delphic oracle. Listen closely, for what you hear will surprise, delight and horrify you.

Novice: This is such a sh*t job!
Master: But you get to work with pretty boys like me.
Novice: True
Master: If you worked for a corporation, you'd have to be working for pretty boys like me.

"I wanna be one of those state-sanctioned torturers at Abu Ghraib"

"Its spring loaded on both ends. So you have to push and pull at the same time. Just like you! Spring loaded on both ends!"

on a strangely Masonic note...

Novice: You didn't just call a half hour ago threatening Hiram's life?
Hiram: What where his exact words?
Novice: You said "Hiram, you are dead!"
Master: No I didn't! I said "Yer a dead man!"
Novice: Hey, you just gave yourself away. Ha Ha!
Master: Doh! I did!

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