Monday, October 17, 2005

Hello Joseph Heller!

fest-camo, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I went on a second date with Fly Boy last Fri night. He arrived at the house on time, with a wad of cash to cover the two tickets and wearing a freshly pressed t-shirt.

The Cake concert was fabulous. They were as cool as I had anticipated. I fell in love with John McCrea's guitar-- a cheap child's guitar, with a pick-up attached with gaffer's tape. I love it when an artist transcends his equipment.

Afterwards Fly Boy took me to Saturn for a beer and a salad.

We talked.

I had a glimpse into a side of life I wished didn't exist.

We were noticing how weird the colors looked when we were standing under a traffic light.

He mentioned being in the desert so long that his eyes hurt when he saw the color green.

I asked him what he was doing in the desert. It was well after midnight.

He spoke of Saudi Arabia. He told me about flying bombing missions over Iraq.

you look into the radioscope and there are all these little dots. some of them are friendly and others are enemy and some you don't know. those dots you inquire about... sometimes you see the dots firing at each other. you aim for the dots... the enemy dots...

I remember reading a short story about trench warfare when I was in the seventh grade and Mrs Dei Rossi was asking us what the point of the story was. No one knew. We all stared at her, somewhat confused. I searched my mind for the right answer. She looked from face to face, with growing impatience.

"War is hell!" She yelled. We jumped. We had never heard her swear before.

I flew 320 days in one year. When I wasn't flying, I was in training or in a briefing. They worked us like dogs... I told the supervisor that if he didn't send me back to Germany, I'd climb to the top of the water tower and start shooting. He laughed and said to "get in line." I got a transfer shortly after that.

I don't think Fly Boy was planning on sharing with me... we were both tired and it was late. I half expected him to be all bad-ass about it. He is a Texan, after all.

I guess not all texans are gung-ho about war.

I was processing all weekend. Fly Boy is a christian. He goes to church. He is just a few years older than I am. His teeth are good. He is very respectful. He e-mails very well (good grammar, correct capitalization, fully developed thoughts... quite the best christian male eligible e-mailer I have found on the 'net). He is starting to grow on me.

But when talking with him starts to make me think I am in a scene from Catch-22 I start to get scared.

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