So maybe the Answer will come later. I feel like an idiot. A happy idiot. I have railed, and written and walked, and talked to to people, I have surfed the 'net. I have cried on my parents' laps. I have prayed and fasted. I have looked at the deadlines, I have averted my eyes from the deadlines. I have tried to be honest with myself, I have tried to do a good job and work hard. I realized that the Answer might never come, but that the bills still have to be paid. And maybe those things are actually not connected. I feel like, if my life was a TV movie, then the climax should come right about now. With soaring violins and a thrilling male lead. Ha Ha. I could say something deep and profound about Life right now, but I am going to spare you. You have probably already figured it out and are laughing at me from some safe distance.
Or maybe not.
But you can still laugh.
I look in my bag of treasures and I pull out the objects one by one. Repo Man. Anne Lamott and her little birds. The crew of the submarine. The 327 willow tree. The Silver Bullet. The 92/280 interchange. The Contessa. My Parents. (not in that order) The Knee Biter.
Its not a bad life.