Monday, January 9, 2006

The Tides of Men

I am rather upset right now, so don't take the following seriously at all, please


The CL men are pouring from the woodwork

As I am reading these beautiful responses (you are lovely, please write me) a snarky little voice inside me is reminding me that even the best men lie. They are telling me that I am pretty (and talented and vivacious and luminous and brilliant) because they are so lonely, and as soon as they are feeling better they are going to take back all the beautiful things they said. I got one response from a "jim and deborah." I wrote them back and asked who "deborah" was. Another freak wrote from France and asked if I would be interested in being his "long distance girl." I think I am going to become a regular contributor to the Rants and Raves section. What was funny and amusing in November now seems hideous and pathetic in January.

Propaganda Choices

I really don't want to be one of those angry single women who bemoan the man-shortage while at the same time being ugly and mean (and then its no mystery why there are no men). I'd rather be one of those single women who are single because she is eccentric, talented and quirky. Yeah! (she says with fake conviction!)

Ode to Snarkiness

I am feeling very snarky this morning. I should be at work right now, but I am here, being all misanthropic and bitter, because my starter died. Where is work when you need it! I need it for deep, psychological reasons right now.

Ode to My (former) Starter

Every Morning
I shoved my key into the Ignition
And twisted my wrist
blissfully
ignorant
of the priceless function
you did
every morning
selflessly
beginning the magic
of Internal Combustion
(not spontaneously)
and flying me to work
at highway speeds
all the while
you sat
and did your thing
day after day after
except this morning
and now i curse you
unconstant thing!
you let me down
and now,
you are getting your deserts
you are going to the junk pile.
good bye!

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I blog about life and soup, but mostly soup.

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