I am putting on a small studio-moving sale this Sat! This will be your last chance to own a piece of my old stuff. I am making room for new work.
If I could enter a monastery, and the instructions were that I could only come with myself and the clothes on my back-- that would be so fantastic.
I have had the time to think about the past, and what it means (or doesn't). Essentially, it doesn't exist anymore. The things we can hold on to are so ephemeral. I had three big bags of toys from my childhood. Going through those gave me a material impression that my parents loved me. I can call them on the phone and they could tell me that directly. When they die, I won't have to wonder, and not just because of three bags of stuffed animals. I am finding a lot of evidence of how badly I drew when I was young (which is evidence that art education can improve the way you draw), and other goofy stuff.
Childhood was great because we graduated, we commenced, we had to go to new schools, and try new things. Now that I have been out of school nearly a decade, I am finding things get stagnant so quickly. I spent the morning unloading nearly the rest of my attic to a woman who lost her house in a fire and just need "everything." All the boxes of old toys and books strewn across the living room floor looked as if a flood ripped through the attic and threw everything down, willy-nilly. It looked sad, the evidence of my life-thus-far. I'd love to say that I lost everything in a Great Flood.
I found my box of diaries. I started writing in 1989 and I had kept every single one. I secretly thought that this would be some brilliant oeuvre, that posterity would find it and discover what a brilliant and witty girl I was. As I tore through them (getting them prepped for recycling) I caught a few sentences here and there. The writing was pretty inane. Somehow, the world will survive without them. I saved two, my very first one and the one I kept when I went to college. I will read them in the future and laugh (unless they don't survive a second purge).