Personally, when I can step back just a little, I discover that this is such an amazing time. Stepping back is hard, though. I have to take myself away from caring about the floor being clean, or dinner being done, or the bills being paid. All very important things that I care about.
Sometimes metaphores help. If I don't think of her as my wittle wittle baby-face, but as a foreign exchange student from, say, Uzbekistan, suddenly she makes sense.
I say, "Gracie, what language do you speak in your Homecountry?"
"Gracie, what did you eat in a typical meal in your homeland?"
"How is your English coming along?"
"Is it customary to collect pebbles where you come from?"
For a moment she is somebody else's baby raccoon, I can enjoy her company without any expectations or weird parental baggage. I don't have to expect that she will make any sense, or appear well-behaved to my friends, or clean up after herself. I can enjoy her pretty face, play naming games with her and do my best to help her bone up on her English and adjust to life here in America the best I can.
Wanna hear the podcast version?