What the Burrito Said

"Say No to Drugs"

I wonder at the wisdom of writing such a canned and tired slogan on the wrapper of a burrito. Why not "study hard" or "be wise" or even better, "don't eat this"? The whole idea is so ridiculous. In Teacher School we learned that it wasn't enough to tell a kid "not to do something" without providing attractive alternatives. I have found this to be true in my experience, from both sides of the podium.

"Made in Compton"

I have never visited the town of Compton, Ca. It has a bad reputation. Announcing that the burrito was made there doesn't inspire confidence, especially since it was legendary in the '80s as a violent crack town. The juxtaposition of both of the statements is particularly funny and ironic. The county of Flip Flop produces fantastic food, between the organic farms, the ranches, the fishing fleets and the armies of fine Mexican chefs. Theoretically, finding a bad burrito in the city borders should be nearly impossible. I am not sure how it is cheaper to pay someone in Compton (maybe it gets murderers off the street, ha ha) to make a bad burrito, freeze it, then ship it 600 miles north, then to reheat it.

I actually ate it. The tortilla was yellow. It was filled with cheese sauce and bits of something that looked like it was trying to be sausage. I was hungry and at a local high school subbing for the band teacher.

Fortunately, the jazz band sounded better than the "burrito" tasted. It was mostly boys, in that zitty, hooded, awkward chapter of adolescence. It took them a half hour to get themselves arranged in the band room and another ten minutes to decide what song to play. They chose "Cotton Tale." They didn't sound half bad. As soon as the guitarist stopped playing Metallica riffs (I didn't know the kids were still listening to them), they started, and what they produced actually sounded "jazzy." There were a couple aimless trumpeters in the back who were playing video games on their iPods and one confused kid who kept timidly stabbing at the xylophone as if it might bite back.