Friday, December 10, 2004

Where is my 'tude?

Last night was my last flamenco class. Things were finally starting to come together in my bolero (the name of the dance we are doing). It was significantly less embarrassing and on the verge of being fun (the steps are finally making their way to my muscle memory). The teacher gave us permission to pretend we were flamenco dancers. It was quite liberating. Real flamenco dancers (is there really such a thing? or is it just that some people are better at pretending) have a lot of attitude and she wanted us to strut out on the dance floor like we were going to kick ass. I had to search for my inner source of 'tude but it was hard to find. This is the first time in my life that 'tude was encouraged. Usually it gets me a black eye, a spanking, sent to bed without dinner, a reprimand, black mark on my record or an extra 15 mph on a speeding ticket. Out of necessity I have pretty much squashed the 'tude and now that there is a place where it is okay, now its gone.

My poor inner man is emasculated. Do women have inner men? Why is it that 'tude is a masculine thing? What would the BaldMan do?

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