Monday, May 16, 2005

I am feeling so broken right now. Literally. When I talk to people I have to work really hard to keep the quavering out of my voice. I feel like I could burst into tears at any moment.

I am not trying to garner sympathy (all I want is love) its just where I am at right now.

had this ultra-intense conversation with the T*ster. I felt like all my guts were just out there, on the table.

Thanks, Contessa. Thanks T*ster. I am so grateful that I am not going through this alone.

I had a funny conversation with my mom. Somehow it got to "what if I have to go to the hospital, then I can't pay the bill and then the bank will reposses my car and then I'll have to find a job in Flip Flop but there are no jobs in FF." And there I stopped, becuase I realized that we had fallen into a predictable pattern. The Camille-Mom-Whine pattern. I laughed and I asked her to predict what I'd say next, and without missing a beat, she said I'd say I would have to move to the City. Which was exactly what i was thinking.

i just got a call from the M*ster. My anti-biotics are waiting for me in 'Tola!

yee haw

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