Friday, July 13, 2007
Goblins and Angels
imagining herself in the City
Ever since I decided I needed to move, my emotions have been up and down. The ups have been as intense as the downs. Butterfly-light tappings of optimism have been quickly squelched by the heavy sandbags of despair. Wide vistas open in my imagination then close, and then open again.
It took a prolonged moment of near-despair to force me to realize that I don't have to take this seriously at all. That the parade of goblins and angels doesn't mean anything beyond the fact that I am alive and the universe is what it is.
I was reading the application process of the San Francisco Union School District. After a while it seemed that some evil HR person was out to get me, and purposefully wrote this long and ridiculous thing just to scare me away. I don't know why I got so intimidated, I have done this before. There is a ton of legislation they have to comply with, hence the scary verbiage. It just means that I have to sit with my scanner for about five hours, scanning all my paperwork (although some of it I might have to write to a university office in Redding to get). Tedious, but not impossible.
I looked at a cool room I found on craigslist last week. The house was beautiful, the kitchen large, the people normal. I was very excited by the interview, but no cigar. Back to the room postings.
For a moment I was seized with the fear that I just wasn't cool enough. Dammit, I am cool enough (affirmation #523)
Angels with Hotdogs
The afternoon spent in the City, hanging out with friends, drinking tea and munching on real German sausages was fantastic and reminded me why I wanted to be there.