Friday, July 13, 2007
Goblins and Angels
imagining herself in the City
Ever since I decided I needed to move, my emotions have been up and down. The ups have been as intense as the downs. Butterfly-light tappings of optimism have been quickly squelched by the heavy sandbags of despair. Wide vistas open in my imagination then close, and then open again.
It took a prolonged moment of near-despair to force me to realize that I don't have to take this seriously at all. That the parade of goblins and angels doesn't mean anything beyond the fact that I am alive and the universe is what it is.
One Goblin
I was reading the application process of the San Francisco Union School District. After a while it seemed that some evil HR person was out to get me, and purposefully wrote this long and ridiculous thing just to scare me away. I don't know why I got so intimidated, I have done this before. There is a ton of legislation they have to comply with, hence the scary verbiage. It just means that I have to sit with my scanner for about five hours, scanning all my paperwork (although some of it I might have to write to a university office in Redding to get). Tedious, but not impossible.
Two Goblin
I looked at a cool room I found on craigslist last week. The house was beautiful, the kitchen large, the people normal. I was very excited by the interview, but no cigar. Back to the room postings.
Three Goblin
For a moment I was seized with the fear that I just wasn't cool enough. Dammit, I am cool enough (affirmation #523)
Angels with Hotdogs
The afternoon spent in the City, hanging out with friends, drinking tea and munching on real German sausages was fantastic and reminded me why I wanted to be there.
Labels:
city,
self-revelation,
yawning self pity
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4 comments:
You are cool. Sometimes I don't think I'm cool enough to hang out with you, because you are that cool. I didn't know who Odd Nedrum was before I met you. I was so not cool then.
Lovely post.
Wow... you'll have to tell me sometime what's the impetus for moving to the City, aside from the fact that, gosh, it's the City!
Oops... that last post was from Poulet, if my nom-de-plume got truncated.
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