1. I like my food in small, Japanese boxes. Its so much tidier and aesthetically pleasing. In fact, when I was 12 I wanted terribly to transform our backyard into a Zen Garden with bonsai and pebble arrangements. I was so intense about it that my mother actually let me start digging things up. And then I discovered Dosteyevsky and the Zen Garden was forgotten.
A bento box. What will be my next Eastern obsession?
2. Kitchens are Great
I live with a Paris-trained chef, and he is the undisputed Kitchen King, so I have put together my own, private, stealth kitchen that masquerades as a pile of crap in the back of an unassuming SUV. You wouldn't believe how handy it has been. I can eat my own cooking anywhere.
3. Instead of thinking, I have a group of characters chatting in my head.
Most of my readers are familiar with Fat and Skinny Camille. You may think they are just characters that I arbitrarily made up, but you'd be wrong. They are merely two voices in the otherwise cacophanous and obnoxious committees that make up my consciousness. Sometimes people I know become voices in my head, as in the case of the Professor. Recently, there has been a new voice, but I'm not going to debut him until he's ready.
4. I carry not only my own kitchen wherever I go, but I have my own culture, too.
I have noticed recently that I haven't been able to follow the old adage, "When in Rome..." In fact, I have never been able to do that. I blame my parents, for instilling a quirky set of behaviors and ethics that I can't shake, even to this day. In the last two months, not only have I been chased out of church my mad, Roman priests, but I have been kicked off a bus and have even offended Episcopalians. All of this because I couldn't just simply do what the person in front of me was doing. So, if you wish to blend in, don't hang out with me.
A perfect segue...
5. My current favorite hack diagnosis-- "aspergers." Lately, everyone around me has been stricken by aspergers, it is an epidemic. It is a mild form of autism, and as far as I can tell, every hair-victim, all my fellow motorists, the tourists, the locals and especially the people at the mall have it. It explains their odd, antisocial behaviors, bad taste in clothes and general grubbiness.
typical "aspergian" spotted at a local cafe
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5 comments:
How did you offend Episcopalians, ring a bell in a low church ?
HA. HAHA. Ha?
Just catching up on blog-reading this Easter morning. Great, even funky pictures.
Ah, I love and miss both the Fat and the Skinny Camilles. Your car kitchen is faboo. Asperger's is NOT a minor form of autism. It's a different disorder altogether (depending on who you ask, check out the CAN'T website for a different perspective), SHEESH! can't you get your hack griping about hack disorders hack right! ;P
Hack you much,
eleven
hey John, thanks for stopping by!
Franny, actually I didn't even try to "venerate" the cross after it was unveiled Easter morn. I thought the point was that He was off the cross. I was happy that everyone else was happy genuflecting and dancing around. Actually, "dancing" isn't the right word, they were more doing really complicated genuflections.
Eleven, hack you, too! :)
I think your next eastern obsession should be footbinding. So old school!
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