Sunday, May 15, 2005

SCORE!

I just wiped the guts of a dead mosquito from my palm. Better it than me, i say!

I usually don't indulge in midnight blogging, but since I am awake and there is no one in Hawaii to call, I figured its the least sleep-distrubing way to vent the ol' spleen.

Musings on Being a Frustrated Christian Single or the "Big Black Hole that is My Future"

Was kvetching with Miss S last night about our mutual spinsterhoods. She was mostly irritated about how people tried to help, by saying trite things or by giving lame advice. Her life is tragic she said. I thought she might need a creative outlet, so I respectfully advised her to start a zine. That idea went over like a lead balloon. I added that if she started a zine she could meet all sorts of interesting people. Like the wacky transexuals? she retorted. She has a point, the only "men" I could bring home to meet the folks from APE were wearing New Balance. [sigh]

Where are the Christian men with the sexy footwear?

I am not going to touch that question. I have found that line of inquiry to be ridiculously pointless and self-pity-inducing. I have tried deleting the "christian" bit from that equation, with no success (and lots of mess).

If I was smart, I wouldn't have let the conversation go in that direction, because only depression and heartache are at the end of that tunnel, but somehow we stumbled in and wallowed in it for a long time. (only taking a break to brow-beat me for not calling her last Sat) [sigh]

I don't necessarily see my single future as a big black hole. It will give me ample time to pursue other things, like an MFA, or a hot-shot comic career. An MFA may not be as sensual or as heartwrenching as a suckling babe at my breast, but, uh, its something. Like more opportunity to warp the minds of the young and trusting through higher education. Or get more debt (I need debt like a hole in the head). Hm, maybe an MFA isn't such a good idea. Although "art" is a demanding and thankless mistress, at least she is an ever-changing, ever-challenging, ever-intriguing pursuit. and quite spiritual.

I was afraid to say anything to her. I might appear to be "helpful." I think the black hole is in her mind, though.

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