A slice of surrealism

The E-shmarmany men haven't been giving me much entertainment lately. They have just sat around, not replying to any of my invitations, or they have been actively "closing" our matches. Which is fine with me since most of them don't look that interesting anyway. The only ones who seem to be remotely interested in communicating live in places like Taipai or Shanghai. The mere thought of trying to give those gents a simple phone call gives me a headache. I am not sure I could embark upon a long distance relationship with a complete stranger.

Succumbing to the charms of Craigslist, again.

I have so many other things to do right now, but the drive to procrastinate is strong.

Instructions - 31
Date: 2006-05-29, 9:23PM PDT


Read through all the instructions before attempting this at home.

1) Shut your eyes.

2) Sit in a comfortable chair and straighten your spine so you can feel your shoulders hanging off your torso like clothes on a line.

3) Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. Don't close off any parts of your breathing passages, just let the air flow in and out.

4) Listen. If you dig carefully through the silence you will find one shining note. As you get closer, the dirt around it will get warmer and warmer until you reach it and it will climb out of your mouth and leap into the air. Don't stop it, but let it sail on its own, out of the room and into the sky. Its taking a little part of your soul, but don't worry, it will bring it back later.

5) Continue listening. You will eventually hear your heart beating its rhythm in your chest. Don't be afraid of this evidence of your mortality. Look at it with your mind's eye, merrily blobbing along, nested between your lungs. There are billions of hearts beating every second on this blessed earth, but only one is in your chest. As you continue thinking about your heart, you will find yourself thinking about a color. That is okay. This is the color that resonates with your heart. Tomorrow, look out for that color and feed it to your heart.

6) Think about who you were when you were 8. You were in the third grade (or equivalent). You may have thought the opposite sex was "gross" or maybe you didn't. What foods did you like? Where did you sleep? Who picked out your clothes? Who fed you? What did you like to do? What was your favorite piece of playground equipment (or play area)? Were there any teachers, uncles or aunts in your life who made you feel special? Where are they now?

7) Open your eyes. Where are you? Whose space are you in? How close are you to the ocean, or any large body of water? Turn to face the direction of the nearest body of water. Think about your place in the eternal cycle of water. How the watershed you stand on brings water to your tap, and how the water you exhale will eventually find its way to the ocean. How your body is just a temporary stop in an infinite flow.

8) Stand up and stretch. Feel your muscles talking to your bones. Notice how your body is a piece of elaborate architecture.

9) Thank God for giving you such a beautiful life.


file under: Christian, female, artist, brunette

::

I had been reading a bunch of ads and was struck, as I usually am, by poor quality of the postings. Not even just the bad grammar, or misdirected orthography, but by the shortage of imagination. I read so many laundry lists, bitter rants and unfocused monologues that I started to doubt my own sanity. I decided to channel Yoko Ono and create a little bit of surrealist art. Just for the hell of it.