Men Who Write

I got a really fabulous e-mail today. It had a link. I am going to put it here. Its my first review. I had never heard of the Lincoln Heights Literary Society before, but they advertise "ontology on the go" which makes me ridiculously happy.

I started writing the Sub Files in 03, and I never really thought they would be popular and so far, I have been mostly right. Besides that wasn't the reason I wrote them. I realize if I continue down this track, I'll start sounding like some "misunderstood" artist, laboring away in my lightless garrett, and that isn't the case at all. But every once in a while, a reader finds the files and actually gets them. In some ways, they are the most generous, finding things that I didn't intentionally put in, and making a synergistic whole that is more than just the sum of the reader and book.

I think Dave is onto something when he mentioned the uneasy alliance between the average man and grammar. Don't they know that writing well is hot? On the other hand there are plenty of men who write well, and plenty of women who don't. The latest arrival in my inbox just happens to support Dave's position.



Hello You can call me Bill Im 28 love to chat be outside driving ,hiking a  
little or even spend time inside curling up and watching  a movie  inside. I
have a good sense of humor. I am very easy to get along with and I  would like
to find someone to enjoy life with a little more. If you are  interested in
talking more, just email me back or even send youre number ( if  thats ok with
you).
Farewell
Bill

The Nicene Creed is as sexy a piece of dogma as you could ask for, and I find it to be a beautiful thing.
an e-mail to "R"



Nicene Creed
We believe in one God,
the Father, the Almighty,
maker of heaven and earth,
of all that is, seen and unseen.

We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ,
the only Son of God,
eternally begotten of the Father,
God from God, Light from Light,
true God from true God,
begotten, not made,
of one Being with the Father.
Through him all things were made.
For us and for our salvation
he came down from heaven:
by the power of the Holy Spirit
he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary,
and was made man.
For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate;
he suffered death and was buried.
On the third day he rose again
in accordance with the Scriptures;
he ascended into heaven
and is seated at the right hand of the Father.
He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead,
and his kingdom will have no end.

We believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,
who proceeds from the Father and the Son.
With the Father and the Son he is worshiped and glorified.
He has spoken through the Prophets.
We believe in one holy catholic and apostolic Church.
We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
We look for the resurrection of the dead,
and the life of the world to come. Amen.


I am still responding to CL men. I have had to refer to this a couple of times. I love this creed. "R" complained about dogma. It was a great movie and replied by saying that my dogma could be summed up by the Nicene Creed. I don't see a future with "R." I am posting it here because it just makes me so happy.

Now that I am back at work, my spirits are magically raised. I like being a productive member of society, dagnabbit.

I spoke to one of the CL Christian Chrises today. He laughed a lot and said that I had a nice voice. So far, so good. He told me a couple of times how much he liked my drawing. He should see the results when I actually try. I told him he could call me again. Oooh, exciting. Will the budding romance survive a second phone call? I double checked his e-mail and I noticed there were no ellipses. I think that is a good sign.

I hope you had a great weekend. I played hockey on the concrete with my nephew today it was a blast.
I have to go to bed now for work tomorrow. Thanks for emailing me, it was nice to hear from you. What did you do during the weekend? Any more cute drawings you want to email me? I would like to look at it!

-Christopher

On second glance, I am noticing other mechanical issues.


I wonder if this Christopher is bald?

::

I had to write some cover letters yesterday and I confess, they were pretty dull. I wonder if I should try to write my cover letters with as much passion as I compose CL ads?

Maybe digging through garbage isn't such a bad idea. I just spent the last few hours searching and responding to the part time work opportunities available in our dear town. A couple of the jobs I hope I am not considered for. I had a terrible conversation with the Pater over the holiday. He told me not having health insurance is irresponsible. I told him it was that or not eating. He wondered what I was doing wrong. I told him I didn't want to have security for the price of "soul killing" work. He worked for 25 years at a job he hated and it nearly killed him. Its not that I am afraid of hard work. I work very hard teaching. On the other hand, going to the doctor is a good thing and so is eating. My mother rescued us by announcing lunch. The question remains, how does one find balance between physical and spiritual needs when they seem to be at odds?

CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE/ SUBSCRIPTION SERVICES Part-Time X____ has an immediate opening for a part-time Customer Service Rep in the Circulation Dept. the position is approx. 24 hours per week including early weekend mornings & holidays. Responsibilities include answering phone calls in the call center & directly inputting data using the AS/400 computer system, dispatching, assisting customers at the front counter, processing payments, PBX relief. Some sales. Typing 35wpm req'd. Attention to detail, dependability & reliable transportation. $9.00 per hour + commissions. Fill out an application at the Circulation Dept., 207 Church St., in downtown Flip Flop, or fax your resume & refs to ___ Please, no phone calls.

MOTEL Rm Cleaner $8.40 to start, work weekends, Must speak/write English Apply @ 525 2nd St,

The Problem of Christophers

The Kingdom of Heaven is at Hand!

I love Jesus too... YOUR post is very original and I hope you respond to my ad so I can possibly get to know you.
I like walking in nature too. Let's go for a walk at Nissen Marks Park in Aptos...Or Henry Cowell Park in Felton.. They are both beautiful and as people walk through these parks I am sure they are thinking to themselves "There is a God"

-Chris



I have been corresponding with at least 4 Chrises in the last 2 days. One of them is bald and I know him from Stumptown. The other three are responding to the ad. I thought 2 of them were Christian. Now I don't know anything. I spoke to the writer of the above and he told me he was a "catholic, cultural Christian." Which wasn't the conclusion I drew from the opening salvo. I thought I was going crazy talking to him. He accused me a of being a "fundamentalist" because I believed the bible. Then I thought I got one or two of the chrises confused. But when I double checked I found this one in the files with the same phone number as the guy I called today. I wonder what the other one is? Maybe I should just forget about spirituality and look for a nice bald man.

Women, don't name your child "Christopher" unless you are sure he truly will be a "Christ-bearer."

I forget what this guy's name is, but I just had to post him.



Bald Man!


This was in my in-box this morning. How did he know? This is not a Chris, he's an "R."

What Next?



I am trying to plan for the next month. I am a bit mystefied about the whole thing. I have bills and not much income. I am trying to sublimate my panic with constructive activities, like writing.

::

I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family, sandwiched between adventures with EB.

I am going to have to give the House of Pain a new name. For years I have avoided it like the plague. Between the seasonal spring that erupts during the rainy season, causing near fatal levels of mold, the filth, the ravenous dogs, the utter absence of anything "homey" or inviting and the rather unappealing figures of my grandparents, I haven't had much reason to hang out. Since the GrandP's have been carted off and most of the other demons were banished with a lot of cleaning and purging, the house has had a rebirth. The Crazies were there, but they were medicated, the dogs were confined, the food was clean and abundant and the house glowed with a lot of genuine warmth and good cheer. My mother and her sibs were contented for the first time. The KB wasn't even the Lone Child. The clan brought forth 2 babies in the last 2 years. The Pater was delighted to have the 3 mo-old fall asleep in his arms. The KB and the 2 year old bonded over Uncle's rock collection. La Tia Loca made mashed potatoes in her own kitchen downstairs (she restored the former darkroom to its previous food-prepping glory). After the feast we went on the traditional constitutional. The night was moonless, the stars were bright, the streets were unlit and the dogs were excitied to be out as the clan wended its way over the dirt roads and through the canopies of oak.

Things were almost normal.

The Saga Continues


bald man sighted in the City

I had a nice chat with Shawn yesterday at Lulu's. It was one of those million dollar conversations that went all over the universe from weight loss to Umberto Eco, comics to movies, secret societies to writing, and traffic reports to semiotics. We sat in the garden, enjoyed the people-watching, the perfect weather and drank our beverages.

Coinicidences

At one point I was gesticulating madly about how something he had said made me think of semiotics, which made me think of Eco which made it necessary to recommend that he read Name of the Rose immediately. As my arms flailed to my right (I was at a wall, there was no place else for them to go) I noticed another patron was silently holding up his copy of said book. I screamed and yelled across the garden, wondering if he recommended it. The patron said he was only on the first page but he was telling all of his friends to read it, it was so good.

Shoot Me Now

Where are all the Christian boys? Why aren't you all asking me for my number? Why am I sitting alone on a tuesday night with nothing but my computer for company!?

cl ad

cl ad, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I am meeting "Shawn" at Lulu's in a little bit and in the meantime, I whipped this up. I wonder who it will offend now. You can check it out yourself here.

The Contessa is writing about our CL adventures, too

I finally had the time to write thoughtful replies to the many wonderful letters that the CL men showered me with. I sent 22. I deleted two, simply because I didn't want to see them again. I didn't have a set algorithm for who I'd reply to and who I would blow off. The ones who provided some personal info had a better chance than the ones who just kept writing about being in a cave. Some of them simply were saying "thank you" and one nice professor got my phone number. Some of you might be reading this. Hello!

Tallies

Out of the 80 or so replies, there was only one penis picture, 2 critiques of my missuse of "steel", three unadorned booty-calls, one letter saying my feet were "gross", 2 saying my feet were hot and another 2 saying that they were going to vote me for a "best of CL" and the rest were generally sweet. Of the picures-- about a dozen headshots and a few landscapes.

0 saying they were looking for a nice Christian girl. (granted, the post said nada about religion)

I think this needs to be put together into a zine.

Craigslist Hath Spoken

I received this in my inbox this morning. I am a bit mystified. I posted it once, then I deleted it, then I posted it one more time the next day. Perhaps that is considered "reposting."

Date: 11/20/2005 08:12:47 UT
From: craigslist

Subject: flagged & removed: 112093540 (women seeking men) I am here.

All headers

This is a multi-part message in MIME format.


Your posting has been removed by the craigslist community.
                                                                               
Several craigslist readers flagged it for the following reasons:

SPAM: posting appears to have been posted too frequently, OR in too many
     categories, OR is being regarded as commercial spam. To advertise a
     business or service, please post under "services offered"



MISCATEGORIZED: posting appears to be in the wrong category

PROHIBITED: posting appears to conflict with craigslist Terms of Use
           http://www.craigslist.org/about/terms.of.use.html#conduct

The flagging system is a work-in-progress, with all the pros and cons of a
democracy - Please post suggestions for improvement in the feedback forum:
                                                                               
http://forums.craigslist.org/?forumID=8
                                                                               
After reviewing your posting and our policies, if you are convinced that
those flagging your post were mistaken, please feel free to repost.
                                                                               
Sorry for the hassle! and thanks for your understanding.



I am so mystefied. Maybe some angry CL man flagged it because I didn't want to date him.

Gopher on my mind

I just opened up my e-mail and I had 80 unread messages, since I posted the CL ad. I usually just hear from Dr Dictionary on that account(from Word a day). No one usually writes me on it. In the past when I have said I want a clean, nice christian man, I get a dozen responses over the life of the ad, and all of them have been unworthy on some level or another.

I am not that optimistic, but it will be fun sifting through the hopefulls. I doubt I'll have the time to personally respond to each one. Where are my gloves?

Procrastination Station

I'd like to compose more CL ads. I had way too much fun last night. I was up til 1. I need a new Goal. Maybe I will write such sparkling ads that people will hire me to write them professionally. I am over the MFA thing. That is for other people, like real artists, but writing irresistable CL ads, that is doable. Rubber is doable, too. Maybe I'll make some more purses, draw some more comix, and call it a life.

In a few minutes I'll be tooling over to Big Shaft, the Promised Land. I'd like a house for everyday of the week, too. Though, on second thought, I don't think a house for every day of the week is Goal Worthy. Its Mrs C's Thursday House that I'll be visiting. I wonder what crazy Frensh wines she'll give me this time.

If you stare deeply into this photograph, the previous two paragraphs will make some sense. Then, again, maybe they won't.

This was up for 30 Seconds

Then I had regrets and deleted it. I've pasted it for you, dear readers, so you can see just how cheesy I can be when no one is looking. My goal was to write without... ellipses.

::

I am here. - 30 (santa cruz)
Reply to: pers-111850093@craigslist.org
Date: 2005-11-17, 12:19AM PST


I am here. Sitting in the flickering glow of the ancient Mac. Listening to my housemates make love in the other room.

I wish I was staring into a fire right now, in a cave, with the coyotes howling at a safe distance, bundled up in furs and listening to the gopher sizzle on the spit. With that nice post-digestive feeling, when you have eaten the right amount of food, and maybe you could eat a little more, but you just don't need to.

Watching the light dance on the ceiling and composing a story in my head. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the stars in the night sky. They disappear momentarily as an owl swoops by. The moonlight limns the ground outside in steel gray. The air is cold, but I am warm. I shut my eyes, but I can see the glow of the fire through my eyelids. My brain is bathed in an orange light. I let myself get lost in it.

The fire dies but the embers continue to glow like windows in a tiny city-- the little corpuscles of fire flitting around like harried commuters on their way home. I am glad that I am home. Sleep will soon come steeling in on muffled feet.

Where are you in this picture? Were you the one who killed the gopher or kindled the fire? Is there a you? Or am I really just sitting here alone, staring at my Mac?

I am a woman. Here is a picture of my feet.

The Contessa dared me to post this.



::

I can't believe it! I completely forgot to include this gem in last night's entry.

from "Mookie" of Fremont

Let me first ask, why iz it hard to get a nice convo to chop it up with a female from CL?? we all (men & women) describe what we want from a man/woman in a ad... but why only reply to a email only once?? I know if u aint feelin' them u dont have to reply back, just let it go.. I understand if u dont like someones one liners, smarts or looks... thats fine, because thats ur call to do what u want too... but why reply to a ad, and dont return the email they send back to u from ur reply?? Or why would u email only once after someone has replied to ur ad and stop?? we all have our reasons, I am just tryn to find my position with a real woman... so I will give this another shot... hopfully I can get some real women to reply and would like to take the time to see who we both really are around one another... if it works great, if not, we got to move on like we have been doing before we crossed paths.... so herre I go...

Well, he is bald, but somehow I don't think I am his "real woman."

He said "position." (snigger snigger snigger)

Epilogue

We did get a reply from Mr I-Can-Write.

here's the complete exchange.

Dear Contessa and Marquessa,

Thank you kindly for your thoughtful e-mail.

With Much Appreciation,

S---
"I want to beg you, as much as I can... to be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves...Do not seek the answers which cannot be given you (by another) because you would not be able to live them (another's answers). And the point is, to live along some distant day into the answer."
- Rainer Maria Rilke

-----Original Message-----
From: The Contessa
Sent: Wednesday, November 16, 2005 1:56 AM
Subject: Your CL ad

Sir,

We are writing to you to compliment you on your beautifully written CL ad.  After perusing too many poorly written ads, seeing yours was like a breath of fresh air. 

We find you appealing, however, we live in California.  We were scrolling through the New York CL ads in hopes of finding a well written gem in contrast to the garbage we had been sifting through on the California CL site.  We were wondering what is it about our state that inspires such a nadir of illiteracy.  We noticed that, overall, the New York ads were of a higher caliber than the California ads.  We are considering relocating.

We wish we had an apropos quote to insert here, but we'd rather you provide one.

We hope you find a woman who appreciates your talents and we wish you all the best.

Yours,

The Contessa

and

The Marquessa






 

Christian+Flip+Flop

kit2, originally uploaded by camille94019.

The Contessa and I just finished an intense session of CLing. We were looking for the usual keywords; Christian+Flip+Flop. Only Frenchy came up. That man is indefatigable. He's not even a Christian! Undaunted, we tried a whole Bay Area search. There were 23 entries. We looked at them all. None of them inspired a reply and all of them horrified us with their terrible abuse of our mother tongue.

For example, this young Christian writes from Santa Rosa, I'm a former bad boy, never got any felony's (which is good because I'm becoming a lawyer in the next 3-4 years)...never really got nailed for anything bad but I liked to drive fast and I am a total bad ass. ..sorry but I am.

And this from a future lawyer? Can he write a sentence?

This man writes from San Jose West.

I'm a professional fit Christian SWM with a good career, a great sense of humor, a big heart, an adventurous spirit, an ambitious drive, an easy going personality. I am seeking a similar sweet fit Christian Lady to enjoy a wonderful life together. I prefer someone around 35-40 with no children currently.


True love is a sacred flame
That burns eternally,
And none can dim its special glow

I hope you don't mind, but I truncated the poem. We noticed that many of the men were guilty of Strange and Inappropriate Capitalizations. Were they snoozing during that lecture in the first grade? Are they victims of Prop 13?

Further searches turned up this' local' gem.

Now, you should be in your twenties or early thirties. I'm 6ft. So you got to be reasonably tall or someone who's always used to wearing' high heels. Sincere, Smart, fun-loving , elegant, charming, health conscious with a slim/fit or VERY PROPORTIONATE BODY

We speculated he had a fat right pinky that hit the apostrophe key whenever he hit return. We were also wondering what he meant by a "very proportionate body."

Out of desperation, we tried the New York CL. Our keyword was "christian" again. The caliber of writing increased slightly. They must have better schools, or maybe you have to be smarter to be allowed to stay.

Granted, this next example isn't perfect, but at least he doesn't use a bunch of ellipses.

Love.

I miss it so much. I haven’t felt love in over 3 years. Oh love, how I miss the heartfelt cuddling. I miss waking up and seeing an the angel of love lay next to me, completely vulnerable and all at the same time my greatest weakness.

This guy made us salivate until we got to the paragraph where he revealed his foot fetish.

I enjoy taking long walks for miles in parks (Eisenhower is one of my favorites), boardwalks (Jones Beach, Long Beach)or hiking trails and would like a partner to share that with me. I am also seriously into cooking especially Italian dishes, homemade brick oven pizzas, fancy desserts and homemade pies.

We didn't search out the nonchristians (although we found some on accident), so I don't if the bad writing had something to do with their faith. What is it with bad writing west coast men? Do the men with good grammar already have dates?

We replied to one entry. It was very long, otherwise I'd paste it here. The Contessa was attracted to his politics and I admired his relative articulateness. Sadly, he's not a part of our family of faith, so we just wrote to say we liked what he wrote.

I'm inspired by the words and deeds of prophetic women and men which challenge us to confront powers and structures of evil with justice, compassion, and the transforming power of love.

We are not going to give up. There will be other CL ads, and other times. Someday we will find someone. I am confident.

Tuesday's thoughts on Monday. 'Cuz nothing really happened today.

Most Memorable Monday Conversation.

Making conversation with the Road Runner dude who is freeing my keys from car-cabin lock out purgatory. I am noticing how quickly he works. In the space of about 30 seconds he had put a rubber bladder in the car door, pumped it up, inserted a wedge and a long heavy wire which he was pulling at the latch with.

Me: So, have you ever thought about using your powers for evil?
Him: Oh yes, I used to be a car thief. Spent some time in prison, too. Its a felony, you know. I jacked hundreds of cars.
me: How are you liking the Straight and Narrow?
Him: (he looks at me for a second... his eyes are wild) Its crazy. I had a wife and a kid and I was looking for work. They don't hire people with felonies. So I put a sob-sob ad on Craigslist and these guys hired me.

(he makes some comment that I didn't hear) the seat was always reclined.
me: come again?
him; I'd come home from work, and the seat was always back. I asked my wife about it, and she said she never used the car.
me: did you think she was cheating on you?
him: oh no, she didn't do nothing. that was her problem, so I got rid of her.
me: because she didn't do anything?
him: yup, cuz she didn't do nothing.

I had to go, my classes had started. He hadn't quite got the car opened yet as I turned away, he called after me and tossed me my keys. He jumped into his truck and tore out of the parking lot.

I just deleted a whole trashy paragraph. It occured to me that I could actually get into trouble for what i had written. Maybe I am paranoid.

Drawling.

Behold Our Fellow Motorists



I had a great time at traffic school. Mostly it was fun people-watching. Like the grown men who were moved to tears when they were describing the circumstances of their tickets. Or the psycho redneck guy who said, "I won't take it sitting down (referring to a dirty look), I am going to hurt the guy." Or the 19 year old girl with too much make-up and whose only reply to any query was to smile shyly. She was very difficult to have a conversation with. I found out later that she did speak english. And the male to female character who was showing off her boob job with the sluttiest halter top and non-coordinating nailpolish. Or the christian high school football player who has been driving for 2 years and has gotten into three accidents and totalled one car. I was in fine company.

Lochness Monster

2, originally uploaded by camille94019.

A lot of film arrived from various developers today. Its like christmas. I have to enjoy this euphoria before the bills come.

This is from the pinhole I made. I think its safe to say it has some serious light leaks.

I am feeling the fall, Flip Flop style.


boardwalk beach, late september

The beach actually looked like this this morning. Well, there weren't large women lounging langourously upon the sand, but the sun was out, the surfers were doing their thing and everything was peachy.


Tree at the Farmer's Market Parking Lot, Halloween


It was warm enough that I walked downtown for veggies wearing flip flops. And now, I am making soup. I had a moment of panic when I couldn't find the recipe and I realized that I took it from one of the H person's cook books. Disaster was averted when I found a recipe for a bisque in another cook book.

Beet-gasm Soup

bundle o' beets
2 bouillon cubes (or just salt and butter some water)
4 cups water
one yellow onion
pat of butter
blender

cut the tops off the beets and save for something else. (steam 'em!)

scrub and coarsely chop the beets and throw them in an open container, then into the oven at 425 for an hour and a half (or until done)

chop the onion finely and carmelize. That means putting some butter in the skillet, turning up the heat till the butter is browning but not smoking, tossing in the onions, they should start browning immed. stir them til they are quite brown, then turn the heat down and let them simmer for a while... stirring occasionally, until they are transparent. It might take a while.

75 minutes into the beet time, boil 4 c. water and throw the bouillon cubes in.

when the beets yield submssively to a fork, pull them out of the oven.

pour half the bouillon, half the onions into the blender and "liquify" Pour into the tureen. Do the same to the other half.

viola!

If beets and onions don't sound very appetizing... then you are a fool. Because of the slow cooking, the starch in both veggies turns to sugar. Its almost like eating hot ice-cream.

and buy organic, cuz we like the kids in Wa*ville to have a clean town.

Meaningless Anecdotes and Silly Conspiracies

I love conspiracy theories. That probably makes me a dork. I have long since outgrown the the kind of crap you find in The Da Vinci Code, though I still treasure my copy of The Face on Mars. They open up the most wonderful and terrifying possibilities of other explanations of things, and these other explanations are so much more interesting. I would much rather believe that the face on Mars is the handiwork of the space-faring Anakim rather than a trick of the light. What thrill is contained in "a trick of the light?" How does that stir the imagination? Its not an issue of truth versus lies... often, the truth is unknowable and we just have to plug in what seems reasonable. If we can't know something, I'd rather take the more colorful and mind bending explanation. And having just read Will Eisner's The Plot I am quite aware the havoc an unchecked and evil CP can cause. (tho' the evil was already there... it just needed some flimsy validation). In a lot of ways, that is one of the appeals of Christianity. I'd much rather believe we have a loving God who reaches out to humanity as opposed to an empty cosmology that states we live in a random universe and life is meaningless and then we die. With that in mind, I present you....

Story Number One.

Big Shaft-- 5:30, yesterday. Wrapping up my cat-drawing lesson, Mrs Cohen offers me a glass of wine. It is Chateaunuef-du-pape, a French wine. I had never drunk a french wine before. It was lovely, the nicest wine I have had in a long time.

Story Number Two

Flip Flop-- 8:15 PM, yesterday. I arrive home after a harrowing drive (2 accidents!) and there is a package on my stoop from Fan Boy. I open it up, and its a signed copy of The Rabbi's Cat. It was a very cheering moment.

Story Number Three

Flip Flop 8 AM, this morning. I am thoroughly enjoying The Rabbi's Cat. I come to this panel.



I am arrested. Nay, shocked. Before last night, I had never heard of that wine before. I am nearly afraid to draw any conclusions. Well, I just won't dammit. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

a fun bit of serendipity

I was thinking interesting thoughts yesterday, but I have since forgotten them. I have been a frustrated blogger. Between the technical difficulties and the lack of time and focus, I have been hard pressed keeping this updated.


11/07/05
HI, . IN THIS MODULE, I AM PARTICULARLY AMUSED BY HOW PROTESTANTISM SPREAD THROUGHOUT EUROPE. THE WAY IT ORIGINATED AND HAD BEEN BROUGHT TO SWITZERLAND IS VALID AND LOGICAL. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE WAY KING HENRY VIII ESTABLISHED THE ANGLICAN CHURCH IN ENGLAND, THE PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH OF SCOTLAND, AND THE REFORMED CHURCH IN HOLLAND IS CERTAINLY INCREDIBLE!
I HAVE INDICATED YOUR GRADE AT THE END OF THE WORKSHEET. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS REGARDING THE GRADING OF YOUR WORK, PLEASE CONTACT ME THROUGH THE MESSAGES CENTER. "SEE" YOU IN THE NEXT MODULE.
SINCERELY, PROFESSOR OLGA S------.

woah... I just hit "control-v" and check out what popped up! I am at the staff computer... (note to self-- clear the clipboard and erase the history). I don't think I've met professor S. Its interesting she finds the spread of protestantism "amusing." I wonder how amused the catholics were. I had no idea Henry the VIII had anything to do with Scottish Presbyterians or the Reformed Church in Holland. The man must have been ustoppable!

Pictures from the last Muttonham Fest


I just developed some pics from the last little disposable camera. These were taken in september. This family was resting under the awning and I liked the way they were all arranged. I got some more bald man pictures as well.

this is a test. will booger ever let me post again?

I am a Part of the Tribe

Thanks Liz Cantu!

Close Up of the Short Lived Metal Trees, originally uploaded by camille94019.

An image from my show last week. For those of you who couldn't make it, go see the rest of the pics.

This Blog Needs Some Color

The Arrest, originally uploaded by camille94019.

I was staring fixedly at my blog just now and realized that its needs some pikchures. So here you go.

I am writing from Big Shaft's Public Library at the moment and I have [gasp!] 8 more minutes before they kick me off! The pressure! The deadline looming over my head!

I left flip flop at 6:45 this morning and still have at least three more hours here in this mild peninsula pergatory. At least the food is good and I am earning money. Soon, I am going to be introducing yet another city, I shall call her "Dis-Shaft." Its across the mythical (and actual) railroad tracks , and like crossing the fabled River Acheron, entering DS is much like finding your way into Poipet, California style. More to come. :)

Humility seems to be a theme today. It was a recent Mike of Earthsea word. Additionally, Ariel is asking people to write about it.

I am not sure that I can answer Ariels' question-- about how I would apply humility to my life, but I saw a wonderful example of humility today.

I attended an MFA grad review today in San Hoe. The student under review, Gaku Watanabe, whose pieces consisted of videos of drunken japanese men in public places juxtaposed with grainy black and white images of mexican wrestlers. His engrish wasn't so great, so he didn't talk much. The first thing he admitted was that he, "knew nothing... I have no idea what I am doing." The faculty peppered him with questions, mostly expressing the novelty of a japanese person who is intrigued by mexican culture (some of them quite inane-- "do you think the fact that you are japanese is important to your work?"). His artwork was extraordinary. He captured amazing moments of quiet in the midst of a circus atmosphere... the body language of the participants was so eloquent. The drunken men video was slowed down, so every gesture of the two men was like a dance as they lurched in tandem down the subway platform.

One of the interrogators was especially abusive (he was asian, but I don't think that is important here). Asking questions like, "are you macho?" (answer, after a long pause, "yes"). "Being an artist isn't very macho." "People in the south think artists are gay, what are you saying about manly pursuits by being an artist?" "Why aren't you a wrestler, isn't that more macho?"

Gaku just stood there, without appearing to be upset. He freely admitted to not understanding the questions. He didn't appear uncomfortable. He didn't seem to need to defend his manhood, or comment on his sexuality. The interrogator just went on tossing more and more leading and inappropriate questions until it was obvious to everyone in the room that he was a moron.

As I watched him calmly take the onslaught, I thought, what a cool guy. Here he is, in the hot seat, standing next to his brilliant work, without arrogance, without attitude, without pride. I loved him for it.

Watching his example inspires me to produce entirely kick-ass artwork and then be completely laissez-faire about defending it. Excellence is the punch that makes humility powerful. If one is self-deprecating and a loser at the same time, then of what beauty is that humility? It just becomes an element of self-hatred. Conversely, if humility is an aspect of God, then it has nothing to do with poor self-esteem and everything to do with servanthood, love and honesty.

Humility has a sense of "I have an honest understanding of my bad-assness... so much so, that I can let you discover it on your own. Instead of rubbing your face in it, or being obnoxious by announcing it." And discovery, isn' t that what we are about, as educators and artists?

Humility gives freedom and dignity to the other person. I approached Gaku's work as a viewer. By simply hanging the photographs on the wall, he gave me the freedom to see them, to make my own judgements, to engage with him in that wonderful exchange between artist and viewer. And then listening to him answer questions he had the bravery let the silences stand instead of killing them with defensiveness. Humility is more than just a stance; its a dynamic, a letting go, a party.

Today was pretty normal. Slept in, didn't carpool with Eleven, arrived at work about a minute late... never really caught up. Left as early as I could to beat the traffic.

Came home and everything was beautiful so I wandered downtown to buy toilet cleaner and food. When I was done, the fog had rolled in and I wandered home in the misty gloaming of the day.

Finally checked my email and I found to my shock/horror that my woman at SJSU sent me the invite to the grad student reviews this morning and all but one had already passed. So I jumped into the silver bullet and jammed over there to catch the last show. I met all sorts of interesting people and suddenly I feel...

excited. A kind of excitement that I haven't felt in a long time.

Someone asked me if I had my apps in. Like a knife in my gut. Soon.

San Hoe never looked so beautiful. She was clear and the headlights on her freeways seemed magic. The sky was a deep blue. I wandered through the campus and I looked at it with new eyes. It had "home" potential. Ah the winds of Academe are blowing. :)